Lunes, Disyembre 5, 2011
Feliz Compleaños, IROG
6:27 AM
1 comment
Hindi ko alam kung ano
ang ireregalo sa kanya.
Hindi naman kasi siya mamateryal at
mapaghiling na kasintahan.
Ang NAIS ko'y mabigyan siya ng REGALONG lubos niyang IKATUTUWA kahit na LUMIPAS pa ang kanyang kaarawan.
Bigla akong NAPAISIP.
Bakit nga pa la siya NALULUNGKOT sa tuwina?
Naalala ko, dahil sa AKIN. :(
Sa mga SALITA kong minsa'y NAKAKAPAGPALUNGKOT sa kanya.
Inaamin ko na minsa'y ako'y nagiging BUGNUTIN at BALAT-SIBUYAS.
Kung alam niya lang na sa TUWINA kong PAG-IINARTE, ito ay PAKULO ko lamang para bigyan niya ako ng EKSTRANG atensyon. Marahil ako'y nagiging MAKASARILI sa aking mga gawi, kaya AKO AY HUMIHINGI ng PAUMANHIN sa aking IROG.
Kaya ngayong KAARAWAN NIYA, nais ko siyang maging MASAYA.
Kaya ang GAGAWIN ko'y HUWAG na siyang BIGYAN ng KALUNGKUTAN.
MALIGAYANG KAARAWAN, IROG! <3
iloveyou :)) P.C.V
Existentialism: Oh, My GOD!!!
6:01 AM
No comments
On the onset of the discussion about Existentialism, I find difficulty of understanding it. Specially when one of its tenets is presented in class- Death of God.
According to Sartre (from the discussion), to have an absolute freedom you should somehow not believe in God. That there should be an idea that God is dead.
Because if there's no God, you WON'T feel any GUILT for doing something.
It's something like, without God, you would have the full authority of your actions and shape your destinies.
You are OUT of the BOX and FREELY DO things you DESIRE.
This idea moves me a while BUT it NEVER troubles me.
Even though the words of Existentialism is SHOUTING in front of my face:
TO SEE IS TO BELIEVE.
I STILL BELIEVE IN HIM.
For Existentialists, "You DON'T see GOD" so when you don't see something YOU SHAN'T believe in it.
I wonder how did Sartre see his future before.
Is he an ATHEIST?
Does he believe in FUTURE?
if Sartre is alive today and we come across with each other's path,
I'll refuse to be his friend NEITHER he would like me too.
A friend asks me:
She: Why do you believe in God, where in fact you DON'T SEE HIM?
I just smiles and asks her too.
Me: Why do you Exist, where in fact you DON'T SEE the AIR that you breathe?
She just smiles and turns her back :))
Isang Bukas Na Liham Para Sa Mahal Kong Idol
4:33 AM
No comments
Naalala ko pa tuwing dapit-hapon, ang aking lola ay madalas gamitin
ang iyong pangalan para lang ako at ang aking mga kalaro ay magsiuwian.
Patawarin mo siya dahil sa walang patid niyang pag gamit ng iyong pangalan.
Eh kasi naman,
napakalakas ng iyong dating.
Kung hindi ka niya gagamitin, paniguradong mamamaos siya kakasigaw at
mananakit ang kanyang tuhod kakahabol sa amin.
Isang beses pa nga’y aksidente siyang natisod sa isang nakausling bato malapit sa puno ng alatires.
Mababait kaming magpipinsan.
Magalang minsan pero pilyo kadalasan.
Ewan ko ba siguro’y mana-mana lang.
Nasabi kong mana-mana dahil ito ang laging sinasabi ni lola: MANA kayo sa Lolo n’yo, HUDAS!
Unang kong narinig ang iyong pangalan noong ako’y nasa unang baitang sa elementarya.
Kasalukuyan akong pinaliliguan ni lola noon, nang bigla siyang napatigil sa pagsasabon sa aking katawan at walang sabi-sabing lumabas ng banyo.
Ikinatuwa ko ang paglabas niyang ‘yun dahil pagkakataon ko iyun para magliwaliw sa tubig. Pero sa murang edad napaisip ako kung bakit niya ako iiwan sa loob ng banyo. Eh dati, noong kasama pa namin si ina, lagi siyang nagagalit sa tuwing iiwan ako sa loob ng banyo mag-isa. Minsan nga nabubulyawan niya si ina kapag hinahayan niya akong magsabon mag-isa. Takot kasi si lola na may mangyari sa akin: Masabunan ang mata o malunod sa drum ng tubig.
Pero bakit niya kaya ako iniwan?
Napatigil ako sa pagbuhos ng tubig at tumingala.
Tama! Tumingala kasi si Lola bago siya galit na lumabas ng banyo. Hindi pa ako nakakapag-isip ng marinig ko ang matinis niyang boses na isinisigaw ang pangalan mo.
Hindi ko akalain na ang lakas ng POWERS mo. Na ultimo si lolo ay natataranta.
Paglabas ko ng banyo kitang kita ko na si lolo ay hindi magkadaugaga sa kakailag sa mga babasaging ibinabato ni Lola. Sa paglipad ng mga pang-display sa bahay ay kasama ang pangalan mo: Hudas Ka Ponse!!! MAMATAY ka na!!! Kunin ka nawa ni KAMATAYAN!!! Pati sa loob ng bahay natin nagawa mong dalhin ang kerida mo. MAMATAY KA NA!!!
Natakot ako kasi akala ko isa kang MALAKING MAMA na bibisita sa bahay at uupakan si Lolo dahil sa pagloloko niya. Naisip kong bumalik ulit sa banyo at duon ko nakita ang isang panti. Hmmm… Nagtaka ako kung bakit nagalit si lola noong Makita niya ‘yun. Naisip ko na lang na siguro’y hindi nalabhan ni lolo ang munting saplot na iyun.
Mula nang araw na ‘yun, hindi ko na nakita si Lolo sa bahay.
Takot na Takot ako noon.
Ang nasa isip ko’y nabug-bog mo na si Lolo at tuluyan ng naospital.
sa tuwing tatanungin ko kasi si lola kung nasaan si Lolo ang lagi niyang sinasabi ay kinuha mo na raw.
Hindi pa ba sapat si ina sa bahay mo para
maglinis, maglaba at magluto dyan?
Ano naman ang gagawin ni Lolo dyan, mag gu-gwardya?
Bilib na bilib ako sa powers mo. Alam mo bang pangalan mo rin ang sinasabi ko sa mga kalaro kong umaagaw ng laruaan ko. Lalo akong natutuwa pag mag gagabi na at tatakutin ko sila na paparating ka na. Ang mga engot kong kalaro ay nagkakandarapa sa pagtakbo pauwi.
Ang takot na nadama ko sayo dati ay napalitan ng paghanga.
Idol na nga kita eh. Kumbaga,
ikaw na ang nagging super hero ko.
Pero, akala ko lagi mo akong ipagtatanggol.
akala ko lagi mo akong poprotektahan at hindi hahayaang maapi.
Pero bakit ganun,bakit pati na rin si lola ay kinuha mo?
Ano gagawin ni Lola d’yan, mamamalantsa?
Hindi ako galit sa’yo. pero nagtataka lang ako kung bakit lahat ng mahal ko sa buhay kinuha mo na.
Wala ka ng itinira.
Sana kunin mo na rin ang sarili
mo kasi mahal din kita.
Para naman hindi ka na mangunguha pa ng iba.
Nagmamahal,
Ako Betong :)
Linggo, Disyembre 4, 2011
Shackle
1:02 AM
No comments
Yes, I do understand them...
because they LOVE them.
Of course,
NO PARENT would want to see his child being criticized by other people.
NO PARENT would want to see his child condemn by the community that they are in.
NO PARENT would like to undergo an interrogation pertains to how he raises his child.
NO PARENT would desire to hear the name of his son as the center topic of a negative gossip and,
NO PARENT would wish for judgmental eyes looking them.
Who among us would like to experience those things?
I bet NONE of US.
But, we CANNOT CHANGE things
by forcing it,
by hurting someone,
by injuring the people who we consider and regard as our LOVE ONES.
It's okay to get mad but it's not okay to maltreat and neglect them.
Have you ever asked and found answers to the ff. questions:
Why a child usually vents his real-self to his closest friends? and
Why he prefers to keep his skeletons in his closet?
If no, you should know now the answer.
The BEST PARENTS in this world are the ones who:
Truly UNDERSTAND their child,
AUTHENTICALLY LOVE him,
SUPPORT him
and most importantly,
ACCEPT him.
Of all people, YOU ARE NOT THE ONES who experience the REAL TROUBLES.
At the very young minds of children who go through a dilemma on sexual orientation, they are the ones who suffer the adversities of all: Relationships towards family, friends and even their own selves because in this stage they are forcing themselves to 'deny' their own characters which later results to a more problematic outcomes.
I have the difficulty in understanding the harsh actions of parents towards their children.
I really don't get the point of hurting them.
If it is true that parents are afraid to see and hear the RESPONSE of SOCIETY,
Who should be the ones to blame for this?
In the first place, I should also ask
"Who ARE the ONES who give the STANDARDS in this society?"
That there should be a CONFORMITY to follow.
A CONVENTION to obey and
A LAW to keep an eye on.
That a person
SHOULD BE THIS and
SHOULD BE THAT.
hMM... I cannot force any (parent) to AUTHENTICALLY LOVE his SON and REFRAIN from HURTing him.
After all,
They are just PART of this flawed society.
BUT you CAN DO SOMETHING.
and I believe you KNOW what TO DO.
Sabado, Disyembre 3, 2011
Seasons
8:23 AM
No comments
In the SULTRY day of SUMMER, Kevin marries Celia. The newly-wed
couple lives in Caridad 's ancestral house. During the first SURGE of
RAINY season, Celia is promoted to her work and goes abroad.
Kevin lives alone with her mother-in-law . In COLD night of DECEMBER,
Caridad seduces Kevin. Then in a WARM afternoon of APRIL, Celia goes
home and finds out that she is now the daughter of her husband. The Affiliation
"Na. You should be the ONE not me." it is an answer that is almost eaten up by the deafening sound of silence.
"Hand-over the keys when you leave."
They open the door...
then closes it afterwards...
-UNLOCK.
-Badly lit.
No other words being uttered.
-Passionate kisses.
-Warm bodies.
-Intense positions.
Then, the door opens...
"BANG!!!"
Footsteps embark on the bloody floor.
"Madam, confirmed. It's your Husband's Kept-man."